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‘We were in fear all the time’

Institutions which cared for children in Australia from the 1920s to 1980s were under-resourced, poorly supervised and lacked government scrutiny.

This meant that children were not protected from the possibility of physical, psychological and sexual abuse. No child who entered a home could be considered safe from abuse. If they suffered in this way there was no escape, as even if they dared to tell they were not believed.

Running away was the only form of escape. This resulted in further punishment. Rarely were children asked why they had run away.

Colour photograph showing a piece of folded, watermarked linen with a needle and glass hypodermic syringe resting on top. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'A known list of the experimental agents run through the orphanages of Australia ...[includes] vaccines for diphtheria, whooping cough, herpes, polio, influenza, measles, rubella, quadruple antigen, and human pituitary hormones', attributed to 'John Murray, Minali, Lidcombe, New South Wales, 1970s'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Children in orphanages and Homes have been used for medical experimentation for many decades', attributed to 'Senate Inquiry, 2004'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Where were the guardians of the good?' attributed to 'Ryszard Szablicki, St Vincent’s Boys Home, South Melbourne, Victoria, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photograph showing a group of young girls sitting on a timber verandah. The girls wear long, white dresses and black shoes. An older person leans out of a door at the far end of the photograph. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'You are the spawn of the devil ... put here by God to be punished, born bad, never wanted. You are the spawn of the devil!' Rhonda Wardman recalled how these words were repeated constantly to her by one of the nuns during her time in the Home. Attributed to 'Rhonda Wardman, St Michael's Girls Anglican Home, Bathurst, New South Wales, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'We were in our own war zone'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Not all of the nuns were abusive and those who were were not abusive all of the time. But we were in fear all of the time' attributed to 'Christine Waite, Tufnell Home, Nundah, Queensland, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Menstruation was monitored and the pads limited, with girls obliged to show officers soiled pads before being issued with clean ones', attributed to 'Maree Giles, Parramatta Girls Home, Parramatta, New South Wales, 1960s'. - click to view larger image

Colour photography of a sanitary pad made of absorbent material with a paper cover. A white cotton and elastic belt is also partially visible. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'When I was at the Bentleigh Children’s Home, I remember being made to repeat ‘yes, nobody loves me’ by one of the cottage parents', attributed to 'Kerry Lowdon, Bentleigh Children’s Home, Bentleigh, Victoria, 1980s, 'The Age,' 4 July 2004'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'I got shock treatment in Goodna Psychiatric Hospital ... I wasn’t even 12. I wasn’t psychotic or anything I was just sticking up for younger children … After shock treatment your eyes are all rolled up … There was no anaesthetic', attributed to 'Pamela Buss, Tufnell Home, Nundah, Queensland, 1960s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photo of a woman with her hands folded and resting on her lap. The woman's face is not shown. The caption reads 'Too much work as a child ... folding sheets, polishing and scrubbing floors has meant my hands have aged years ahead of their time ... Being unable ... to write Christmas cards, hold cutlery, fumble and struggle to grip money ... difficulty dressing and being unable to change my grandson's nappy. These are the daily things I struggle with' attributed to 'Maureen Cuskelly, Sisters of the Good Shepherd convents, Abbotsford, New South Wales, and Bendigo, Victorial, 1960s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photo of a scar on a person's hip. The photo caption reads 'The scar on my right hip shows where I was thrown to the ground onto a rock ... The scar on the calf of my left leg shows where a broken broom handle was jammed in ... The scar above my left knee was from the Singer sewing machine belt. All the beltings were from the nuns. There was no medical treatment', attributed to 'Allan Allaway, St Joseph's Home, Neerkol, Queensland, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photo of a woman. She is standing with her arms folded and her face is not visible. The photo caption reads 'In Osler House, Wolston Park Hospital, I used to cut myself up with broken glass that I had saved and hid ... I was a self-mutilator because after you get raped, you feel dirty and worthless and because I was locked up and because no-one helped me and because no-one could, I had to hurt myself because I hated myself' attributed to 'Rhonda Trivett, Osler House, Wolston Park Psychiatric Hospital, Wacol, Queensland, 1970s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photo of a women supporting the underside of her left wrist with her right hand. Both hands are elevated and the focal point of the photo. The photo caption reads 'The only time I got medical attention at St Michael's was when I ... broke my wrist ... After 10 days ... they finally took me to the doctor, he yelled at Sister B. I thought, 'I'm really going to pay for this' ... They had to re-break my arm to fix it but it never mended properly ... It then got gangrene ... I was so pleased to be back in Hospital because ... I was cared for.' attributed to 'Rhonda Wardman, St Michael's Girls Anglican Home, Bathurst, New South Wales, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

Black and white photo of a woman's tattooed arms. The photo caption reads 'I got my tattoos on my arms when I first went into Winlator ... The girls used to have Indian ink and sewing needles, and to rebel ... everybody used to tattoo themselves ... When I finally got out ... if you had tattoos, you couldn't get a job. I covered them up .. but when they found out they got rid of me' attributed to 'Lynette Meyers, Winlaton Youth Training Centre, Nunawading, Victoria, 1960s'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Nobody trusted anybody', attributed to 'Anthony Brennan, Clontarf Boys Town Waterford, Western Australia, 1960s.' - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'My brother Bill Brennan made this. It’s just like the straps he had to make as a boy in the Home, for the Brothers to use on the other boys. Each Brother had his own ‘recipe’ — a hacksaw blade sewn inside or a piece of lead', attributed to 'Anthony Brennan, Clontarf Boys Town, Waterford, Western Australia, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

A colour photograph below shows several thin, lightly coloured pieces of leather held together with white stitching around the outside. - click to view larger image

X-ray image showing a long, solid rectangular shape with a narrow solid strip at the centre and a ball-shaped object at one end. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'This box of Christian Promises were a birthday gift, given at approx 12 yrs of age from the Cottage Mother at Spence Cottage Home, Adelaide. About a year later, the same lady rang the Police and had me admitted to Windana Reformatory, because although I was in bed I wouldn’t stop crying, while everyone else was trying to sleep' attributed to 'Priscilla Taylor, Windana Reformatory, Windana, South Australia, 1960s'.. - click to view larger image

Pale green box with gold trim and hinged lid and the words 'Precious Promises' painted on the lid in gold. - click to view larger image

A pale blue-green box with its hinged lid open. Inside are small scrolls of rolled pape blue paper. A piece of wool and metal clasp rests on top. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'If you didn't say it, it didn't make it real', attributed to

Black and white image showing a small boy standing in a white metal and wire cot. Another cot stands to the left, and in between, on the wall above, white curtains have been tied into a knot. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'LH Murphy was committed for trial in 1998 for sexual offences against boys in the Western Australian orphanage system, but in early 1999 he was declared unfit to plead on grounds of advanced age and mental/physical decline' attributed to 'Senate Inquiry, page 78, footnote 18, 2004'. - click to view larger image

Photo of Brother Murphy in a dormitory at Castledare Boys' Home, Cannington, Western Australia. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Brother Murphy ... would prowl around the dormitory after lights out taking children out of their beds to his room ... when he got sick of the children he was using and abusing he used to flog them and get some more', attributed to 'Michael O'Donoghue, Clontarf Boys Town, Waterford, Western Australia, 1950s.' - click to view larger image

Black and white image showing a large room with high ceilings, filled with five rows of single, metal beds. Each is covered with a checked bedspread. Three small high tables stand in the room, with bases of flowers on top. Another two vases of flowers and a religious statue sit on top of cupboards at the far end. - click to view larger image

'Bunny Club' map courtesy Owen Swallow, Yarra View Training Farm, Lilydale, Victoria, 1960s. The red crosses show where boys would hide from paedophile Brothers. the boys said they belonged to the 'Bunny Club' because they knew where to hide. Dormitories 2 and 3 held the orphaned and mentally disabled boys. This was where most abuse occurred. - click to view larger image

Image showing a poem, handwritten on lined A4 paper, which reads: 'Shush close your eyes look sound asleep. Hear him moving in the shadows so deep. Yes! He passed by not my turn tonight. But who will he pick, Will she put up a fight. SHE WAS ONLY 6. We hope he will leave and choose none tonight. We know what he will do to the one he picks. Yes we know the pain he will put on her. We know it all. SHE WAS ONLY 6. It's morning get up and make the bed. Bed number 4 is missing a girl. It was her first time in sick bay she will stay. We know why. We know who. We keep silent speaking won't help. SHE WAS ONLY 6.We wait for her to come back to us. So we can hug her and hold her close. Tell her we know. Tell her we care. She never came back. She left we are told. To a family that wants her, its lies so bold. It's just not fair. SHE WAS ONLY 6. Now I wish he had picked me. I know what to do. I wouldn't fight or cry the night through. If I had been chosen she would still be here. I wish he had picked me. Cause I am older, I AM 7.', attributed to 'Debbie Davis'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'Running away was almost part of the culture of the institution. Regarded as the worst offence in the Orphanage, runaways were given the worst form of punishment', attributed to 'Frank Golding, Ballarat Orphanage, Ballarat, Victoria, 1950s'. - click to view larger image

A perspex case backed with two historic photographs, including one showing rows of children outside a building. A cross and stained glass windows sit at the top, along with an arch saying 'ST VINCENTS HOME'. 'NUDGEE HOME ORPHANAGE' is written in shiny stickers across the base. Artificial flowers sit behind green mesh in the bottom half of the case. Small kewpie dolls are attached to the mesh and a black butterfly, and Australian flag sit at the bottom. - click to view larger image

Close-up photo showing small plastic baby dolls tied to green wire netting. A black and white photo at the rear shows hundreds of children lined up in rows outside a building. Stars, leaves and flowers are seen at either side of the photo, and there is a butterfly at the centre. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel that reads: 'I ran away from [the Home] when I was 12 years old ... I reported the sexual assault [at the Home] to the Goulburn Police. I got 6 to 8 months at Doruke [Daruk] Training Centre, Windsor', attributed to 'Submission 312, Senate Inquiry, 2004'. - click to view larger image

Copy of a newspaper clipping with a lead that reads 'Sydney, Wed. In a dramatic bid to escape from Mt. Penang training school for delinquent boys, Donald Malcolm McLean, of Coburg, was killed when he crashed 40 feet on to jagged rocks last night'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel of black handwritten text on a white background reads 'Even after repeated 'running away’ episodes by many of their [Child Welfare Department] wards, they never once asked the simplest question 'WHY’. Nor for that matter did police officers. In my own case, with five boys ‘on the run’ and being described on local radio as 'armed and dangerous' was that simple question raised. NO!' attributed to 'Submission 11, Senate Inquiry, 2004', - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel of black text on a white background reads 'I can recall every girl being rounded up from their beds to go to the hall to watch two girls get a caning within an inch of their lives, because they had the guts to run away', attributed to 'Submission 138, Lost Innocents report, 2001'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel of black typed text on a white background reads: 'Young men and women constantly ran away (this was a breach of the Aborigines Act). Not only were they separated from their families and relatives, but they were regimented and locked up like caged animals, locked in their dormitory after supper for the night. They were given severe punishments, including solitary confinements for minor misdeeds', attributed to 'Christine Choo, Bringing them Home report, 1997'. - click to view larger image

Exhibition graphic panel showing black text on a white background which reads 'I was a persistent runaway - nowhere to go, no one to see but I would runaway just the same. I now know the sadness and deprivation I felt but no one in the Department ever seemed to notice,' attributed to 'Submission 344, Senate Inquiry, 2004'. - click to view larger image

Outside the gates

Apology and unfinished business

Historical overview

About the exhibition

Listen Audio on demand

Online features

Defining Moments

Further reading

‘Polio vaccine tested at orphanages’, 25 October 2004 report by Gary Hughes, The Age

Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s November 2012 media release on the estalishment of a Royal Commission into Child Sexual Abuse

Email apology about past medical testing of children in institutions from University of Melbourne Vice-Chancellor Professor Glyn Davis, 17 November 2009 [ PDF | 27.1 kb ]

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